Let me start out by saying I don't necessarily have a testimony that "men are that they might have joy." Let me rephrase that. Clearly it is scripture, and therefore without a shadow of a doubt true, but whenever I read that particular passage I think I inadvertently read "other men are that they might have joy." For whatever reason, the principles of the scripture have always seemed to allude my grasp. Now, before you get all freaked out and call a suicide hotline or anything, don't worry, I'm definitely not depressed or emo in anyway. However, I think my life can be likened unto a piece of garlic bread.
When I was home this last Christmas, there was a loaf of garlic bread in the freezer. I love garlic bread. I was looking forward to eating it all break. When the big day came to finally eat it, it was unfortunately burnt in the oven. Some of it was salvageable, but I'm not going to lie, I was pretty disappointed. And thus is my life. Now don't get me wrong, I have plenty of fabulous blessing and tons of wonderful things that have happened to me. I mean heck, I still was able to eat some good garlic bread, but things just never seem to happen just right the first time. Sure, I imagine someday (hopefully) I'll graduate from PT school. Just not the first time around. At first it seemed like I got a fabulous job right when I moved out to Palo Alto, but then I happened to be the victim of some budget cuts a few months later. Or right after I got laid off and found the most perfect job opening EVER, and even though they loved me and really really wanted to hire me, went with someone else instead. And don't even let me get started on never getting asked out on a date ever, despite the reassurances of "don't worry, Prince Charming is out there somewhere!" (doubtful), or on the whole family issue. Despite all of these catastrophes however, there are delicious pieces of garlic bread that I have been blessed with. (You can see my previous "Grateful Tree" posts for a few of these fantastic examples).
So, the purpose of this blog, despite all appearances, was not to just whine and complain. The purpose was really for me to call myself to repentance. I read a really great article yesterday from Forbes magazine about Clayton Christensen, a Harvard Business professor and wonderful member of the church in Boston. This past year has also been kind of a rough one for him. Just one piece of background information: when he was a lot younger, like 30 years ago, he was diagnosed with Diabetes. So fast forward to 2009. Within the span of one year, this faithful brother had a heart attack, was diagnosed with cancer, and then suffered a stroke. And this is a man who leads a very healthy lifestyle, there was no reason he really should have suffered any of these things. And yet, despite all of the bad things that he has gone through, he still has a wonderful attitude and his testimony of the gospel grows stronger. So what right do I have to complain? Who cares if I get burnt garlic bread? There is still a lot of good bread that goes with it.
So I have decided that my daily morning studies are going to focus on joy. I'm going to read all the scriptures and talks that I can about joy until I do gain a testimony that "men are that the might have joy," and that I am actually a part of that scripture too, not just everyone else.